Tonight Mike and I are enjoying a quiet game of Super Mario Bros. and I say, “I need some chocolate.” Hello, my name is Sara, and I am having painful PMS cravings as I’m typing this.

My husband says, with as much tact and as few chuckles as he can muster, “I got some chocolate for ya right here, baby.”

I ignore him and shortly after this, the Wii breaks. This is my cue, I think. I put my controller down and quietly retreat to the kitchen while Mike beats the living daylights out of the Wii console.

He finishes destroying the equipment and walks into the kitchen just in time to see me destroying a giant Hershey’s kiss with two butter knives and a hammer. I hold the Hershey’s kiss up and say, “How deep into this do you think the knife is?”

My husband’s face goes through several levels of emotion, at this moment beginning with horror. “It’s in far enough, baby,” he says.

“Far enough to break?” I ask.

“OH!” he exclaims. “I thought you were making a lollipop.”

{just take a moment and picture someone eating an upside-down giant Hershey’s kiss on top of a butter knife as a lollipop.}

He watches me for a few moments as I drive the knife further into the Hershey’s kiss, then insert another knife to act as a pry-bar to separate the pieces. Finally, Hershey’s kiss broken into several bite-sized pieces, I declare victory and he shakes his head.

“Sara, I want you to think about this. I just watched you decimate a Hershey’s kiss with two butter knives and a giant hammer.”

I’m puzzled by his reaction. “Would you rather I had eaten it whole?” I ask pointedly.

“No,” he says, “just think on it for a few minutes.”

He underestimates the methods a hormonal redhead will incorporate for chocolate cravings.